a little peak...

I feel like life has been chaotic lately.  I mean, I don't know WHY (insert sarcasm here).  

The days go so fast and so many things happen.  Today, for example.  I threw the girls into the tub for a quick, VERY needed bath after breakfast.  Not only was the bath needed, but it's always a good little activity on a morning when you need something to do besides PBS.  Anyway, the girls were in there no more than 5 minutes before I hear McLean yell, " Haze is pooping! Haze is pooping! Haze is pooping in the bath!"
Oh geeze.
So, the quick bath turned into a good half an hour ordeal that included cleaning the bathtub (also much needed I might add.  So, maybe I should be thankful for the excuse).  And actually, once I started cleaning the tub, I realized the toilet needed a good scrub. SO, the whole bathroom got cleaned.
Which is good, don't get me wrong.
It's just that this is how the days go lately.  I never seem to get a complete thought or expectation out of my brain and into action before I am forced to move in a completely different direction.
Have you ever read that book, If you give a Mouse a Cookie?
The cute little mouse wants a cookie but then that reminds him that he's thirsty, so he wants a drink.  After the drink, he notices a picture on the refrigerator and decides he wants to color...it's on and on...as he is continuously moving to the next thing because of what just happened.  The cookie was the simple part.  The rest wasn't planned, it just happened circumstantially.
That's how I feel our life is. I just keep moving to the next thing because of what the previous thing reminded me of.

There are a lot of days I laugh.
There are a lot of days I feel stressed out.
I don't like the chaos, but I also thrive in it....it's a weird phenomenon.

I am constantly reminded that in my seemingly "out of control" circumstances, that I can feel peace because of who IS in control.  It is freeing and peaceful to realize that through it all...the mounds of dishes, the endless piles, the poop in the tub, the laundry, the floor filled with toys, the half finished projects, the un-checked off lists... Jesus is the reason I live.
I realize that sounds so "churchy," but when you believe it, it is the only way to say it.
I have hope outside of my accomplishments. Which is a good thing, because it doesn't seem like there are many of those these days.
That very hope is in Jesus- who died on a cross for all of my self righteous, selfish, vain, and prideful attempts at looking like mom of the year just for the simple fact of feeling good about myself or showing others how well I did it.

So, there you go.
A bit of jumbled literary confusion there...but I am just attempting to put my thoughts onto the page right now...and I think I will just click "publish" and not even look back.  Mostly, I am trying to realign my own heart...so welcome to it.