a little peak...

I feel like life has been chaotic lately.  I mean, I don't know WHY (insert sarcasm here).  

The days go so fast and so many things happen.  Today, for example.  I threw the girls into the tub for a quick, VERY needed bath after breakfast.  Not only was the bath needed, but it's always a good little activity on a morning when you need something to do besides PBS.  Anyway, the girls were in there no more than 5 minutes before I hear McLean yell, " Haze is pooping! Haze is pooping! Haze is pooping in the bath!"
Oh geeze.
So, the quick bath turned into a good half an hour ordeal that included cleaning the bathtub (also much needed I might add.  So, maybe I should be thankful for the excuse).  And actually, once I started cleaning the tub, I realized the toilet needed a good scrub. SO, the whole bathroom got cleaned.
Which is good, don't get me wrong.
It's just that this is how the days go lately.  I never seem to get a complete thought or expectation out of my brain and into action before I am forced to move in a completely different direction.
Have you ever read that book, If you give a Mouse a Cookie?
The cute little mouse wants a cookie but then that reminds him that he's thirsty, so he wants a drink.  After the drink, he notices a picture on the refrigerator and decides he wants to color...it's on and on...as he is continuously moving to the next thing because of what just happened.  The cookie was the simple part.  The rest wasn't planned, it just happened circumstantially.
That's how I feel our life is. I just keep moving to the next thing because of what the previous thing reminded me of.

There are a lot of days I laugh.
There are a lot of days I feel stressed out.
I don't like the chaos, but I also thrive in it....it's a weird phenomenon.

I am constantly reminded that in my seemingly "out of control" circumstances, that I can feel peace because of who IS in control.  It is freeing and peaceful to realize that through it all...the mounds of dishes, the endless piles, the poop in the tub, the laundry, the floor filled with toys, the half finished projects, the un-checked off lists... Jesus is the reason I live.
I realize that sounds so "churchy," but when you believe it, it is the only way to say it.
I have hope outside of my accomplishments. Which is a good thing, because it doesn't seem like there are many of those these days.
That very hope is in Jesus- who died on a cross for all of my self righteous, selfish, vain, and prideful attempts at looking like mom of the year just for the simple fact of feeling good about myself or showing others how well I did it.

So, there you go.
A bit of jumbled literary confusion there...but I am just attempting to put my thoughts onto the page right now...and I think I will just click "publish" and not even look back.  Mostly, I am trying to realign my own heart...so welcome to it.

I haven't posted Christmas yet, so here are the pictures to prove it happened.

Kory and I tried really hard this year not to spend a lot of money.  But somehow, there was still an overwhelming abundance of presents under the tree.
I always wrestle a little with how much to give our kids, how to help them be grateful, and when it's ok to splurge a little too.
I think as parents, it's so fun to get just the right thing for your kids.  I always love giving my kids gifts.  But it never fails that my joy of giving is never quite as equally matched as they experience the "get" part of the presents.  I know they are just kids, but it makes my heart a little sad to watch as they rip through the paper to get to the gift and then move right along to the next thing.
This year more than others, I realize that I want to help change that...somehow.
I want to start good traditions in our home.  That is something we haven't quite nailed down yet.  I want them to be things that facilitate thankfulness, generosity& graciousness.
I need to process that a little more.

Christmas night we spend at the Merrills in Jammies with soup.  Its always a fun time with cousins.  The kids were wiped out and so Shaun the Sheep was a wonderful little quiet activity...

baby Dale with Kate and Joel

This is how you know it was a good day.  

Christmas Eve at my Grandmother's house. The kids hand out gifts while my dad plays Santa.

Big things have happened...

Ugh...I promised I wouldn't get all in a tizzy with myself for not posting.  Too late. I feel the guilt. I have missed posting the memories. And now I have memory constipation. That's right...you read it right.  Too many things I want to say and not enough space or time.  That's the definition. Look it up for yourself.
So for the sake of my brain, I might just have to start doing short and quick.  I can clear the brain and post the memories.  Like a New Years cleanse.
Okay, let's stop with the analogies.
Mostly, I want to remind myself that I began this blog for our family.  I have been terrible about baby books, scrap books, photo albums, you name it.  I haven't recorded the Millions of things I have wanted to remember.  Thus the blog.  Last year it was one of my New Year's goals to begin writing down the things that are so precious to my heart.  I want to keep those things in a tangible way so that someday I can look back when I realize I have forgotten...or to share with my kids when they are grown all the ways their mother took PERFECT (insert sarcasm here) care of them.
So, here we are another year later and I have limped to the finish.  But it's okay.  the point is that I am trying.  Before I wasn't even attempting.  Now at least I have a point to jump from. So, instead of saying this year I will post more, or I will DO better (because we all know I wont)-I will just continue to try.  I will stay focussed on the root of the issue...preserving the memory.  I hope THIS will be what stimulates writing (also, insert spiritual lesson here: The reason for my own LIFE- Jesus is our REDEEMER!  THAT is the point.  That is the reason I live...not to DO or PLEASE or BE COMFORTABLE or in CONTROL or ACCOMPLISH X number of "good things"...but to let all I do bring glory to GOD because he has saved me from myself, something I could never do in the first place). PHEW.
SO, with all of that said....let's cleanse.

We've had some big things happen in our life the past couple of months.
My life has LITerally changed when my parents and sweet husband found our family a dishwasher.  (When I say FOUND, that's what I mean...as in FREE on craigslist.  You laugh, but when the budget is as tight as ours, you just keep handwashing those dang dishes hoping a miracle happens...like the free section on craigslist).  So, my dad and a sweet friend of the family as well as Kory knocked out our precious cabinets and drawers for the sake of something better....

       

The next big event was selling my little Jetta...we closed a chapter in our book as I waved goodbye to my beloved little car.  It could have been the pregnancy hormones, or the realization that I would soon be crossing into "mom" territory with a minivan, but I might have almost shed a little tear as it drove down the street with it's new owner.  

The man who bought it was giving it to his 16 year old daughter for her birthday.  He was literally driving it from our house to his daughters birthday party.  I might have given him a big red bow for the car and a birthday card for his daughter. 

And lastly, but most importantly, we welcomed one last big thing in our life on November 27th.  Dale Cooper Williams finally made his entrance into the world!  Weighing in at 8lbs 7oz, he definitely was a big thing. Everything went so smoothly, and it's funny how life just kept on moving right along.  

We enjoyed peace and quiet in the hospital for two days and then jumped right back into life at home, getting ready for Christmas, and taking care of the other two kiddos.  

McLean was smitten from the beginning and Hazel just a smile of oblivion.   

He is named after Kory's grandfather Dale Cooper, who we pray that our own Dale takes after.  

Kory's grandpa is a generous, humble, hard-working, caring man that raised 4 kids of his own who tell amazingly hilarious, fun, and crazy stories of their upbringing.  I hope our own little Dale will be so kind to us when he is grown.  Welcome to the chaos, little man.